A Caffeinated Parody

I’d like a medium coffee, cream and sugar, and one blueberry muffin please. What flavor coffee? No flavor, just coffee. Yes, coffee, but what flavor for the coffee. I don’t want flavored coffee. Just regular coffee. Oh, regular coffee with milk and sugar.  No milk, cream please. Just a medium sized hot coffee, no flavor,…

A Rare Emotional Moment

I am, more often than not, brash, vulgar, and mildly offensive. My observations on life walk the fine line between hilarious and appalling. I believe that overt emotion belongs to teenagers and passionate lovers, while the rest of us should just tuck that shit away for alone time. I am who I am, and I make…

Mombie

In case you were wondering, I am having the kind of day where I am sitting at work, half-dead, and my office phone rings, as it so often does. My response was to sit here and stare at it horror as if it was some disease ridden mutant fresh off the set of The Walking…

Going Postal

I have a confession, guys. Writing is my preferred method of communication 9 times out of 10. I would rather text than call, I write letters to my husband to express my feelings about a situation, I vent my frustrations into a journal, I leave notes on my bosses desk, etc… This has ALWAYS been…

Getting Older & Letting Go

This morning I woke up another year older. I am one year closer to 30 with almost none of my 30 before 30 list completed. The difference now is that I am only one year away from being 30, and suddenly I feel overwhelmed to fill this year with the many hopes I had for…

Dear Ladies, Let’s Just Stop…

Being a woman is hard. There are few who would deny the truth behind that claim. As women we are truly expected to do it all – hold a career, bear and raise children, keep house, volunteer, maintain an active social life, pursue our lifelong goals and dreams…the list is never ending. And it seems…

How I Became A Mom

And so it happened. As I knew it inevitably would. You see once you are pregnant there is really a 100% chance of the baby eventually coming out into the world. I say eventually because sometimes, as is the case with my darling daughter, the child holds onto it’s warm amniotic home until you physically…