Dear Ladies, Let’s Just Stop…

Being a woman is hard. There are few who would deny the truth behind that claim. As women we are truly expected to do it all – hold a career, bear and raise children, keep house, volunteer, maintain an active social life, pursue our lifelong goals and dreams…the list is never ending. And it seems that no matter what we do or how we go through life we will always be disappointing someone along the way. The average woman faces near tyrannical scrutiny for all of her most basic decisions in life. On top of all this women are constantly being told how to look, act, and feel. The most fierce scrutiny comes from other women. It comes in the guise of “concern” and “common interest” and is often demoralizing, discouraging, disheartening and a bunch of other dis words I can’t think of at the moment.

The thing is we live in a society that is already stacked against us. You would be hard pressed to find a woman in your life who has not faced harassment and discrimination in some form or another. Having been born with a serious case of resting bitch face, I cannot even count the amount of times I’ve been told to smile more – or how much prettier I’d be if I would just smile. As a matter of fact that was a favorite phrase of my previous employer who legitimately could not understand when he was met with a go fuck yourself sentiment in return. I am a victim of both sexual harassment and sexual assault who was was told that maybe I wouldn’t have been targeted if I was not so “sexually open”… because every sexual assault victim loves to be slut shamed. The thing is I was slut shamed by a woman.

When I was pregnant I was often admonished for any mild complaint about how painful or uncomfortable I had become with having my organs used as a trampoline. It was never a man who commented on how much weight I had gained or how run down I looked; it was always women who did that. Why are we being so cruel to each other? What is it that you would derive from bringing down another woman?

My point is this – WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM! Stop tearing down your fellow females! Please, stop the slut shaming, the shade throwing, the petty judging. Stop criminalizing their choices for their body and humiliating them for their lifestyle choices. Stop allowing room in your heart for jealousy and hatred for your sisters.

The thing is, our country – our world – is facing a pivotal shift right now. We are entering the unknown, and while I’m not trying to become political we must face the reality of our current situation. The United States will be governed by people who do not have women’s best interest at heart. And believe me when I say that Trump is the least of my concerns in the coming four years. A little research on the people filling the House of Representatives and the abomination of a Vice President will show you what I mean. Things have moved so far right that women – that all minorities are facing the potentiality of becoming second class citizens.

This means that we are living in a time where it is absolutely critical for all women to stand together. Build each other up, face the world as your nasty selves hand in hand. That is the only way for us to truly create a better future for our daughters. Please, when these demeaning thoughts cross your mind cast them away and find a way to build up  the women around you. Inspire each other, influence positivity, encourage each other, advocate, be a shoulder to cry on, help to heal wounds, and most of all applaud the success of the women around you!


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