Pregnancy Thoughts

Pregnancy changes your life in ways you don’t really expect when you head down that road.  There are days you can sit and reflect on it and just wonder – “How did I get here?” I’m not talking about the hormonal moodiness or the obvious body changes either, although those are clearly a thing.

I am talking about the downright exhaustion that seeps into every crevice of your life. The earth shattering, time stretching, muscle aching, brain frying fatigue that nobody really talks about until it happens to you.  I’m talking about the deep bags under the eyes and the uncomprehending distant stare that develops during the second trimester and from what I’m told stays for years.

I often find myself wearily climbing into bed around 9:30 and despite passing out almost immediately I will toss and turn throughout the entire night and by the time my alarm goes off I am nowhere near ready to be awake. It seems that 90% of my conversations are just me repetitively asking for a playback of what was said.  Worse yet I will often forget what I am doing as I am doing it.

The simplest every day tasks are suddenly all too tiresome. If I do some laundry, or wash some dishes, or even sweep the floor I need to then take some extensive relax time. I am not used to it at all! From being very active and motivated this is a huge shock to me, I simply lack energy and motivation to do the most basic things. Just sitting here and writing this is so mentally taxing that I’m considering taking a nap.

I now find myself drawn to concepts I had never considered. I spent two whole days researching freezer meals and devising a menu plan full of them just to make my life easier. I also looked into both a laundry pick up service and a grocery delivery service. All of these things I would have scoffed at just weeks ago when I still had enough energy to function as a human. But these days I am just happy I can gather the energy to shower…

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