Random Thursday Thoughts

Why is there no font to adequately convey sarcasm? Think about it. We have ALL CAPS for yelling, HaLf CaPs for idiocy, italic and BOLD for emphasis, hell, we even have emoji keyboards to convey any range of random shit. Still, though, no goddamn font or indicator for my frequent use of sarcasm. Isn’t that just wonderful…

A Caffeinated Parody

I’d like a medium coffee, cream and sugar, and one blueberry muffin please. What flavor coffee? No flavor, just coffee. Yes, coffee, but what flavor for the coffee. I don’t want flavored coffee. Just regular coffee. Oh, regular coffee with milk and sugar.  No milk, cream please. Just a medium sized hot coffee, no flavor,…

A Moment For Mental Health

Hi there! Yup, I’m alive. Here’s the thing… I have depression and anxiety. My life is a constant inner struggle, which, despite my carefully constructed routines and masks, sometimes seeps into my external world. There are days when just being alive becomes physically painful and exhausting and there is nothing I can do to change…

A Rare Emotional Moment

I am, more often than not, brash, vulgar, and mildly offensive. My observations on life walk the fine line between hilarious and appalling. I believe that overt emotion belongs to teenagers and passionate lovers, while the rest of us should just tuck that shit away for alone time. I am who I am, and I make…

The One Where I Open My Own Shop

Today is one of those rare NYC days where the weather is warm and sunny, but neither the heat nor the humidity has become oppressive yet. Of course, I am stuck in my office but I have opened every window in sight and made 4 trips to the deli across the street despite needing nothing.…

Learning A Language

I think it’s about time I tackled some of the items on my 30 before 30 list, what with time running out and all. I’ve mentioned before that I had completed a few of them and just never got around to posting, because I absolutely suck at life. I’ll start small with number 4, which was…

A Day In The Life

My alarm is blaring, signalling that it’s time for me to wake up, despite the feeling that I just fell asleep. 4:45 am – waking up this early is inhuman. I aggressively rub sleep from my eyes and fight to drag myself from the warmth of my bed. I quietly exit the bedroom and make…